Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Maybe it was just the photography...

I'm not a picky eater. I'll try anything once (read:twice), and if there was an award for 'person who likes treats the most' I would win that with flying colors. I sort of get a kick out of trying new things, even though I'm not above gagging and spitting things out. In public. At a restaurant. Look mom, I'm a lady!

I'm also a really visual person. Watching the Food Network is basically enough to make my stomach punch me from the inside. Flipping through cooking magazines takes me on a trip about eating each and every dish. If you aren't getting it by this point: I LOVE FOOD. Even foods I don't like, when photographed properly, or waxed poetically about, I'll fall head over heels with. I suppose this is why I try everything, even if I don't like it, over and over and over. For example green olives. They make me want to die! But every time I see one, I pop it into my mouth with the hopes of liking it. I'm an eternal optimist with food, the one area this mentality applies. 'Just try it, you'll like it, Kate', I always tell myself. And eventually I do, even if I really don't. 

So, where is this all going? Hang on just a bit longer and I'll tell you. As I'm sure doesn't surprise you, I used to collect vintage cookbooks. To be honest with you, the recipes didn't matter one darn bit! I was mostly concerned with the graphic quality and color scheme and general layout of the book itself. Eventually, having displayed some of the best in my kitchen, I finally sat to read what goodies I could whip up for a treat! Whenever I talk about cooking, just assume that I mean someone else cooking for me, or 'hypothetically cooking' which I do all the time. Listen, if you've never cracked open a cookbook from 1930-1960, you are missing out...on some horrible recipes. These horrible recipes are often accompanied by horrible photographs that all have the same effect on the viewer. Physical pain. I'm not sure if EVERY SINGLE PHOTOGRAPHER during this time didn't understand lighting and whatever else, or if maybe the food was just that gross. Lets take a look at some of the delicious dishes that one can find in a vintage cookbook! Note: I actually DO think some of these look good, but gross-good. Like meatloaf.

Check this bad boy out. Have a ton of vegetables but don't know what to do with them? JELLY THEM!

 Heres a tower of depression. Note the green olives on top, and the lima
beans floating precariously on the bottom. Whats in the middle? 
No one knows.

Check out this pile of meat. The coloring here makes me want to die a bit.
I think the garnishing of the pepper was meant to brighten the dish up.
In reality, it just makes the 45 pounds of beef look more lifeless.

 Whats this? More piles of meat? Yes!

 I'll be honest. I do not know what is happening in this picture. But the coloring and presentation
is enough to make me not want anything.

 I wasn't kidding about putting everything imaginable into a jelly. You read that right,
Ring-Around-the-Tuna. This happened. 

What is going on with this presentation? As the 50's have taught us, if all else fails,
put a head of lettuce on a plate and let the food speak for itself.
I will chalk up a huge 'WIN' for the personal baked bean bowls.

Again, the amount of not hungry I am after seeing this picture is great. I suppose I'm
most uneasy about what is happening in the bottom right. Raw hamburger jelly? 
 I'll go ahead and set up camp in the bathroom.

The pictures don't really even do some of the recipes justice. I'm not joking that even reading some of these will blow your mind. Part of me wants to just pick 3 or 4 of these and try them out. Maybe they aren't terrible? (They are). Have any of you tried to make some odd treats of yesteryear? Did you live to tell the tale? I wanna hear about it! Also, we have a bunch of cookbooks that will be sure to satiate your appetite for all things unappetizing! Come in and see us! I will gladly look through cookbooks with you and laugh (gag).

Until next time...

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